Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Jonny Flynn is MOCKED!

In a good way.

Now that the NBA Draft Lottery is over, we can finally start speculating where J-Flynn is going to land. And by we, I mean other websites. I'm going to sort these by destination:

10th - Milwaukee Bucks
Inside Hoops
Walter Football
My NBA Draft
- Sounds like a hell of a boring team to root for. Hopefully that is not where he lands.

13th - Indiana Pacers
Chad Ford, ESPN
Draft Express
NBA Draft Guru
College Hoops Net
- Don't really care for them either. Can't the Nuggets trade up or something?

14th - Phoenix Suns
NBADraft.net
Sports Illustrated
- I could deal with this. Perhaps Shaq can get him on twitter.

17th - Philadelphia 76ers
The Hoops Report
- He's out of the lottery in this one...but I'd be totally fine with rooting for the Sixers.

18th - Minnesota Timberwolves
Draft Empire
- Only acceptable if Bill Simmons is hired as GM.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Well said, guy on the left.

Photo: AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Nathan Denette

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

OMG! BRETT FAVRE!!!!!1

Dear Brett Favre,

Please just fucking go away. Nobody likes you anymore. You are no longer skilled at playing football.

Sincerely,

Everybody

Friday, April 24, 2009

Ten Predictions for the 2009 NFL Draft.


  1. Exactly 32 players will be selected in the first round.
  2. The draft will last for seven rounds.
  3. It will take entirely too long.
  4. New York Jets fans will be displeased with the results.
  5. The draft will be televised.
  6. And it will be held in New York City.
  7. Players will be drafted based on 40-yard dash times and bench presses, rather than football ability.
  8. Numerous players will display tremendous upside.
  9. Grown men will judge college-aged mens' bodies in sexually suggestive ways.
  10. Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay will either come to fisticuffs, make out, or go about their days in a professional, respectful manor.

Monday, April 20, 2009

"His mind must be blown easily."

Tim Graham, a genius with words:

My favorite part of the [Eagles' introductory] news conference was when Peters said, "It blew my mind, first and foremost, for them to trade me."

Really? His mind must be blown easily. Peters boycotted every offseason and preseason workout last year. He missed the conditioning program. He skipped voluntary workouts. He didn't show for mandatory minicamp. He didn't report to training camp and missed every preseason game.

Other interesting notes from the linked article above: the Bills thought Peters would have held out until week 10 (the maximum amount of time a player can hold out before losing out on the entire season in terms of salary/benefits/etc) and that Peters admitted the contract issue affected his play last season.

Continue on, Mr. Graham.
Sacks allowed isn't an official stat, but a figure floating around said he surrendered double-digit sacks last year.

"That's the first time I've heard that stat," Peters replied when it was presented to him Sunday. "I don't recall giving up that many. If they charged me with that many, so what? I'm an Eagle now.

"If I give up 11 and a half sacks, I'm only human. I'm going to give you 100 percent on every play."

Peters is only human, but a human who's getting paid $25 million guaranteed not to give up sacks.

He's been gone nearly 3 days, and I already don't miss the guy.

Friday, April 17, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: Jason Peters Traded to Eagles

Peters getting manhandled by yet another defensive end.

According to ESPN's resident Eagles apologist Sal Paolantonio and ESPN AFC East blogger Tim Graham, the Bills have traded Jason Peters to the Eagles.

The details:

For Peters, the Bills will receive a first-round pick (the 28th selection in the round), a fourth-rounder in next weekend's draft and an undisclosed pick in 2010, according to a source.

Peters has been asked to fly to Philadelphia on Friday to meet with the Eagles, who have 12 draft choices including two first-round selections. Any trade would be contingent on Peters passing a physical, but it might also require Peters to agree to a contract extension.

Well sirs and feathered creatures, good luck getting that contract extension worked out.
For more than a year, Peters has been in a contract stalemate with the Bills. He's made two Pro Bowls at left tackle and wants to become one of the highest-paid players at his position -- at an annual salary of possibly more than $11 million.
The amazing part in all of this is that Peters is still demanding to be paid as one of the top left tackles in the game, all because offensive lineman make the Pro Bowl completely based on reputation. He was actually worthy of a Pro Bowl selection in 2007, but Peters appeared completely befuddled at times playing LT last season, so the fact that he went to the Pro Bowl was a total shock to most Bills fans.

Peters early career progression was a nice story, transforming from an undrafted tight end into a top left tackle, but this trade was the best thing that could have happened for the Bills in this situation. It would have been nice to keep him at his current salary, or perhaps a small raise, but to pay him over $11 million per after last season's performance? Good riddance.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE!


Jonny's testing the waters, Jonny's signing with an agent, Jonny might be ... staying?

Sure, if you believe the Associated Press. This went across the wire about 15 minutes ago:

CHICAGO (AP) — Syracuse coach Jim Boeheim says Big East tournament MVP Jonny Flynn might not be headed to the NBA along with teammates Eric Devendorf and Paul Harris.

Boeheim said Flynn's status is "kind of up in the air."

Last week the school announced that all three players planned to make themselves eligible for the draft.

The coach said Devendorf and Harris are virtual locks to leave, but Flynn might still opt to come back to school.

Flynnled the team in scoring at 17.4 points per game and set an Orange record by playing 1,418 minutes in his sophomore year. After two seasons, he ranks seventh in career assists (439) at Syracuse.

He indicated he will not hire an agent, giving him the option to return to school.


Moral of the story: Nothing is real until April 26 rolls around, or signed agent papers are in my hands (or the hands of someone more important).

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Google Chat is Glorious.

Poetry in Moten and I had a g-chat conversation today in which we mostly discussed Flynn/Devendorf/Harris all declaring for the draft. Other minor things are in the conversation, such as slow sandwich delivery (my end of the conversation took place in a coffee shop) and Tyler Hansbrough, but for the most part it is 'Cuse-centric.

Note that the convo has been heavily edited for grammar, spelling, and over the top cursing to make it easier on the reader's eyes. We do not actually talk to each other on g-chat as if there is an English teacher watching us.

Moten: thbbbbbbbbbbbbt. Flynn, Devo, Harris. All declared.
K-Gun: Oucharoo. That's no good
Moten: In theory, they can all still come back.
K-Gun: It would be awesome if they all did.
Moten: I’m sure none of them will.
K-Gun: But I still think they are national title contenders if only Flynn returns… How many years are we getting Wes Johnson for?
Moten: two
K-Gun: At least we can have a year of him/Waiters.
Moten: In theory, unless Wes leaves after next year.
K-Gun: thbbbt. I don't see why he would waste a year of his life not playing, just to spend a single year with his new team. But I suppose it is possible.
Moten: I mean, if he scores like 20 points a game next year and people say he's a lottery pick, then I doubt he'd care about sitting out that year.
K-Gun: true
Moten: For whatever reason, I'm most confident that Flynn will come back.
K-Gun: Yeah…with the whole "playing at Syracuse was always the dream" and seemingly declaring because Boeheim suggested doing it…
Moten: Though Harris said the same thing….and after the season, Devendorf was the only person who clearly said he would be back.
K-Gun: If i were in Harris or Devo's position, I think I would leave school to make money (if I had a child). Also, I wouldn't have been stupid enough to have a kid at age 20.
Moten: But also, they both seem to be getting by just fine now, so what's another year?
K-Gun: yeah
Moten: Bunch of [losers]. JUST COME BACK AND PLAY MORE BASKETBALL, YOU [JERKS]!
K-Gun: PLAYING IN SYRACUSE, NY > PLAYING IN SHITVILLE, STUPID RANDOM COUNTRY, EUROPE
Moten: Clearly…Shitville is horrible.
K-Gun: Hate Shitville.
Moten: Oh well.
K-Gun: But if they offered me a professional basketball contract I'd go.
Moten: until they hire an agent, declaring means literally nothing.
K-Gun: I DECLARE FOR THE DRAFT
Moten: hahaha…Someone in my office was saying Scoop should declare, just as a joke.
K-Gun: Boeheim should declare.
Moten: What if the whole team declared, just so they could go to NBA workouts.
K-Gun: Hilarious. What could potentially suck, is that Flynn going to NB workouts might improve his stock, because nobody is actually as good as him, a lot of people just don't necessarily realize it yet.
Moten: Possible
K-Gun: Perhaps the Knicks should tell him they will draft him to scare him into staying.
Moten: Can you imagine a world where Flynn comes back and HARRIS is in the draft?
K-Gun: HARRIS was supposed to be one and done.
Moten: It makes no sense…I kind of feel like Harris would stay if Flynn was staying.
K-Gun: I have to imagine it would sway him.
Moten: Yeah. Also, if I could only have two of them come back, I would select Flynn and Devendorf. Wes Johnson is a taller, better version of Harris.
K-Gun: yeah
Moten: But, i also enjoy Paul Harris the person, and his throwing of things into the crowd…and doing ridiculous dunks.
K-Gun: I want them all back, so they can run out lines of substitutions like Louisville.
Moten: yah
K-Gun: I can't wait till this place brings out my sandwich. I didn't realize making a tuna sandwich with cheddar melted on it took so long.
K-Gun: Is syracuse's incoming recruiting class really 5th in the nation or whatever it is rumored to be on some other blogs?
Moten: Who knows. I haven't actually seen that anywhere.
K-Gun: I thought this year was relatively down, but was going to be okay because of everyone staying, leading into Dion Waiters coming and miraculously choosing to wear #25.
Moten: haha

(Quick tangent: During the 01-02 season, I went into a sports apparel store and decided to purchase a Syracuse basketball jersey. My options were #3 - Preston Shumpert - and #25 - Damone Brown. I went with 25. I had a 50/50 chance of making an awesome life decision and I failed epically.)

Moten: If all three leave, Brandon Triche better be fucking awesome…and/or scoop better be a lot better, because Rautins certainly isn't playing the point.
Moten:rivals.com doesn't even have Syracuse in the top 25 for next year's class.
K-Gun: Figured…I was sure i had remembered this year not being as good.
Moten: 8th in 2010
K-Gun: There are only so many scholarships to be offered, so you can't be awesome every year in that department.
Moten: They're not ranked on scout.com either.
K-Gun: "Interestingly, Flynn is the only one of these three who is in Chad Ford’s Top 100 although he has Harris listed as being “late first to early second” despite being ranked #103." (Rush the Court)…hilarious. Chad Ford is a fool.
Moten: Chad Ford has about 70 players every year who are projected first round picks.
K-Gun: No wonder so many stupid players unnecessarily go pro.
Moten: I’m sure there are players ahead of Harris who are "undrafted.”
K-Gun: I was listening to ESPN Radio recently, and the guy was discussing the difference between Hansbrough choosing to stay or not last year and Blake Griffin making that decision this year…saying at UNC, you know you will have the talent to make a run at a title, where playing at Oklahoma is a toss up. The whole time I was thinking "also, Blake Griffin is going to be great in the NBA and Hansbrough is going to be mediocre, and he knows it."
Moten: Right. Everyone is afraid to say anything remotely negative about Hansbrough.
K-Gun: Something else to consider: with the state of the NCAA, and good players going pro early all the time…Hansbrough could actually get by on determination because he is more physically mature than most good players, due to being 3 years older than all of them.
Moten: Right, he's going to be eaten alive next year.
K-Gun: It’s going to be awesome.
Moten: I almost feel bad for him, because you know the world will either forget about him, or rip into him.
K-Gun: Hopefully the Knicks draft him, so if I am still in NYC for some reason I can see it happen first hand.
Moten: You will see nothing, other than a man on the end of a bench.
K-Gun: In most cities he will disappear into the shadows when he sucks. If he gets drafted by the Knicks, he will be reminded of how bad he is in the NBA constantly. Moten: Right…I forgot that New York City is the greatest place of all time, and all other areas of the world suck.
K-Gun: I did not say that. I said New York sports fans are stupid.
Moten: haha
K-Gun: There are already people saying CC and Teixeira are busts, and there is no way they will get by in New York. The season is TWO GAMES old.
Moten: People are stupid
K-Gun: The other big Syracuse fan I work with isn't as distraught over the idea of losing Flynn, because he is also a Knicks fan, and thinks Flynn is exactly what they need. I mean, that would mean the Knicks would have to select him for him leaving to be okay, but still.
Moten: Right, he has a 1 in 30 chance of still thinking Flynn leaving is a good idea in a few months. Also, don't the Knicks already have Jonny Flynn? Nate Robinson?
K-Gun: Nate isn't a PG. Chris Duhon is their attempt at a point guard.
Moten: Close enough on Nate…small dude…fancy dribbles…makes shots.
K-Gun: yah

(conversation abruptly ends.)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Everybody Loves Flutie Flakes.

Got home from work today and decided to take in a couple episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond before continuing on with my evening. I know, I know, it's not the greatest show of all time, but it's there, so I watch it.

So imagine my surprise when I looked above the refrigerator during a scene when Ray and his wife and/or mother were arguing about some trivial matter and saw this:


As a past fan of this tasty breakfast treat, let me salute Ray and his family for their excellent taste in cereal. They should really bring this back. (The cereal, not the show).